tell me why I feel unwanted

..or would have 'rolling in the deep' make it more brighter if I wrote that sentence as title?
I don't know.
What if I just stopped caring?
What if I just stopped noticing people? Would it make difference. I don't think so. But when I have gone far enough only caring about someone too much and just stopped thinking about what I want, when I realize the situation I have come into, I see. I see that I have again have gave more to others and not even getting anything for change.
That's exhausting. 'Cause I'm always the one who gives 100%. I'm giving 100% but everyone else 50% or less.
Right now I feel shitty. Again? Yes, again.
There's big hole on my chest. I can't take this shit anymore. I'm dying inside. And you just sit there and don't say anything.
Because you don't notice it. I don't even know do anyone see me crawling. Or am I just
very good at hiding my true feelings. I don't know. Fuck this shit.,.!
I'm done. *sigh*

I feel I'm so done with all of this.

I want to just run. Run fast, away from everything and everyone.
I actually give I shit about you people! You don't- That one I ever gave 100% of myself ever gave me the same back.

I HATE EVERYTHING SO MUCH RIGHT NOW.
*le tears don't come out yet but I can feel them in my eyes*

Would everything work if I cared less than this. ?
I'm angry, I'm sad, I'm everything at the same fucking time. I'm so full of shit.
Sometimes I should stop. This. Caring thingy.

I need the fucking millions of hugs to actually feel better and people around me here, I...
Do you know it's shit lonely here? I bet you didn't know.

I didn't put that song here just for entertainment. Read the lyrics. But P!nk is so great, great artist and she had so much good songs, I mean, I've always loved her music even that I don't have any of her albums. I don't know why I haven't bought them 'cause there's always at least one or two songs that I can identify myself to, but I have the first one 'misunderstood' and I'm atm playing it in my car, 'cause it's actually mine, and I just took it with me when I last time visited (last weekend) at my Hämeenlinna home.

P!nk is strong woman and has that "fuck this, and that" -attitude in her songs that I adore. She's awesome and looking good always. I adore strong persons who don't give a shit.

Have a nice fucking day bye, Ida