Alice in land of Madness

The ever since I have gone mentally insane by my best friend I write about it.
Because - If I can now quote a friend of mine - " Because, saying things out loud, makes your mind feel better. Then you've "done something" for it. If you would keep them to yourself, you would feel even horrible. It's natural to whine for someone and search for help/approval/guidance etc. Even if you're doing it non-purposely".
Katja(Katja, Kake or Cakey? Which one, tell me?) has been my sort of 'personal Dr. Phil' for a week(and for life I wish), I know she feels kinda a bit cocky now that what I say now, that she's really been helpful for me to even get through some of days by talking with me at nights and listened to me when I had something in my mind and needed or not needed to whine it.

So, I have decided to tell about how insane this all moving out system have gone. To clear out, I moved out two weeks ago from my childhood home, and I already told that on last text post but uhh.., it made me think. I have been 24/7 only with my BFF, and since I have no job and I am slowly running out of money, it all makes me mad. And since I know anyone else from this town, the only company irl for me is my BFF or me to myself. The reason why few of you whom I have told about this blog is that I don't really want to tell about this to so many(including my BFF, which is term I am not so sure anymore should I use it about her).

It has appeared to be much more harder to be independent than I thought it would.
How incredibly wonderful this whole moving out is, huh? Really? I see nothing wonderful about it.
The only thing that is great, that you have finally alone time from your family. No more "do the dishes", "could you clean this house" or food that you hate. All gone. You are now your own master. Which includes the un-nice(is it a real word, well I have 0% fucks to give if it's not) things such as bills. I sincerely hate bills! They drive me mad. As you can see, madly mad maddness. Mad mad mad. All mad.
You probably think, 'that girl is insane'. I don't blame you. This post has shown you it. But how you really qualify 'madness'? It's no one's business really to tell if someone is insane. But since we have all these doctors our there in world, they can diagnose what's mad and what's not.
I can't stand that word anymore, surely can you either, and I stop writing about it now.

In this very moment I think of going to get all those irritating garbage bags away, and maybe I should eat something. But I am really not hungry at all. I've lost my appetite somewhere.
It's all have been only coffee or tea for some days now.And I haven't even got sleep enough because of reasons. My coffee is all so cold again. ;__;

OMG IT'S THORSDAY I ALMOST FORGOT IT!
Since it IS Thorsday again, if you don't know(probably not) I have started this tradition on every Thursday. It means that I pick up a picture of Marvel's character Norse god Thor, and do a same pose as in the picture. I didn't have any time today to do that, because I forgot it was this day again(Is it really have been a week already since last one?)
Well, I have already posted to my DeviantArt two Thor pose -pics and I just show you them here and now so you know what's it all about. I'm making new maybe tomorrow or next Thursday then 'cause I forgot it. Fuck why, I've been so down lately that I forget everything.

I have cleared my mind again, so now I shall put a quote. (This will be tradition also on my blog)

“The unhappiest people in this world, are those who care the most about what other people think.” 

― C. JoyBell C.

but I found this other one too so here's another quote:

“It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.”  ― Rose Kennedy

Oh right then. See you again, ☮Ida

p.s. Friendly reminding that you can throw me subjects whatever you want and I'll check it out if I may write about it☮♥

pfft boring text title

So, This is my kinda my second blog in my lifetime.
I had one few years back but it came out to be too hard to update it like every fucking
week(srry I curse kinda freely at times) and I hadn't really any worthy theme what
to talk about back then. I kinda made it 'cause my friend had started a blog too. And the
thing was I wanted to fit in(which I don't do it anymore, I don't live for satisfy others, kinda tired of that shit).

Well, uhh.. So what to talk about now?
Well, I'm young-ish (24 years old on next november 4th) woman from Finland, I use here the name Arya as a nickname(because of reasons) but my real name is Ida.
I had just moved to my very first apartment with my best friend. I lived last 23 years in Hämeenlinna
and have long dreamed of living in Tampere. This area I live at, is quite calm place to live
- if we don't include my neighbors that are annoying, coz I am not very used to them coz I have lived only in town house and not in high rise apartment - or I kinda find it calm now.

What I've been doing today?
Nothing really. I just woke up two hours ago, and it's late time to wake up this time of day. The time is now
6 p.m. and I was awake the whole time last night. I kind of promised to my BFF to be her company
when she was watching Pretty Little Liars live at last night. If you haven't never seen that show, just google it, it's kinda for those who like to watch anything that includes interpersonal drama and it is kind of same alike with Gossip Girl*. I sometimes am trying to start watch those shows that my BFF is watching but
I end up getting tired of that shit. By 'shit' I mean I can't stand too much drama, in my life or in tv shows..
Not my thing really. It's sort of too frustrating *I'm taking next sip of coffee that is gotten cold already* and shattering.
My BFF, she's kind of fell in love - if I can say that - with those teenage drama tv shows, she've always watched them. I'm not so, even that I sometimes watch GG* with her, but I like more some sci-fi or police/crime scene -drama tv shows. Dexter is one of my favorites of all time seen shows ever.
Well, I just list here some of them and some of what shows I've watched and liked:

• Dexter
• Supernatural
• Terranova
• NCIS
• Nip/Tuc
• L word
• Buffy the vampire slayer
• Angel
• House(but not really nowadays anymore)
• Charmed(long time no see, when I was younger I used to watch it kinda daily with my BFF from vhs tapes)
• Skins (but I don't really like it)

and last that I've liked to watch from tv was Doctor Who.
I will tell later more about this subject. :)

So, to get back to subject that I have now so fucked up sleeping system..
I just have been awake for two or maybe three-four latest nights. I just told my girl crush that I like her. Huh, I mean, I haven't had crush on anyone since forever and never really told them my feelings.
But there was that one guy once some 250 years ago, when I somehow got his phonenumber and I told him what I feel about him and I got so hard back on my face that I've ever since told anyone that I like them. ::D
(Sad but kinda funny) And once in vocational school, that one guy seemed to have interest in my too, but then he started dating one girl that was in my class and I sort of gave up.
I've never ever been able to tell anyone my feelings, I am too shy for that. And it sometimes irritates me.
But then again, I'm happy to be single (for life). It's complicated to explain.
Back to the main subject again. *keeps a long break and don't know what to write*
Yeah, well.. I don't even know what to tell anymore now, the thoughts are now somewhere very lost in my head.
As much as I love quotes, I would want to write one what I read last night from this great quote site
I've just found. It's from Bob Marley about love and it's really long but it is just so great.

“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”

― Bob Marley

This is kind of end of this text for today. I'm trying to update my blog as many times as I can.

Subjects will change and you can tell me about if You want me to write something you want me to write. :)

Feel free to hit me some subjects to write about!

―see you again, Ida xxo