Hi it's been long since I last time cried over my life
It's summer, and everyone is doing lots of things and having a good time... all except me.
I am sitting quietly in front of my laptop, eating just something and anything. For a couple of months I've been eating much of just fruits and some elf food (green rabbit food), and my sleeping schedule is nothing like what people/society define as a "normal". It's. Fucked. Up. Again.
I have been unemployed for couple of months now since I'm not working at D-sign Luotsi slash costume rental store. For two weeks after my contract ended, I really really hoped not to drop into depression again. I begged for myself not to and kept myself busy and it worked well. few weeks went well actually. Now I could say I am too used to being unemployed that I hate it. I want job!
Yeah, unfortunately I am getting one on August, when I go to theatre.
Not long since I was unemployed again, the fucking bitch from Work and economic development office molested me with their mails that I have to put job applications to jobs they want me to. I mailed them a message that I am starting one on august and that caused me some little troubles and they molested me more and LUCKILY those nice people from Luotsi helped me and called the bitch and cleared everything for them and for me so they wont send me those letters anymore. Everything is ok in that area. I'm not anxious about that anymore.
Now that I get less money than a working person, my life literally sucks and I'm little less happy. Some time ago, I stopped taking antidepressants that were also for anxiety and my last therapy appointment was like.... months ago. I think it was on March.
Apparently I shouldn't have stopped taking those pills.
But idk, I've been doing ok without them if u don't mention the ugly feeling I was in for a month after not taking them. But I don't want to be in medications forever.
Couple of weeks ago I unfriended two annoying guys from my Facebook friends and that gave me huge relief! One of them I had known for from 1st grade and we never got along. He's Aquarius and I'm Scorpio so no wonder why. One another is Leo and I'm not getting along with him either. I don't really know am I getting along with Leo's because I've known only this guy.
Okey enought of Zodiac. I'm not an astrologist.
Who said money doesn't buy happiness clearly didn't know how to spend it right. I want to spend money for experiences and that people I know and my friends and everyone is doing so in summer, makes me wanna take and ax and go kill someone. Ok not really but Lizzie Borden -reference sounded good in my head to define of how I feel. About my life. Not you.
Don't think I hate you because I'm mad at society. Thanks. Take a bisquit. Have a good day.
Thing is that I'd want more money to have more fun and experiences and travel to actually see my bitches who I love more than anyone other. And actually see them more than once or twice in a year.
See ya sometime again when I have things to get out of my head..
Peace☮
~Ida
