Mistakes makes me perfect

I already gave up on one subject I was gonna write about, but I was writing it last night so I checked it out today and I realized I don't want to continue that anymore. That happened for the first post too.

Because I always think twice but if it's the mistake I'm gonna make in life, I don't think twice, 'cause those mistakes don't just come behind the corner just like snap. I see them when they have already happened awhile ago and I have to fix it. They come out slowly like some fucking ninjas in the shadows.
But the mistakes I decide to fix, whatever it ever is, I just need the first kick. That kick may be a friend's advice or my teacher's (when I was school, not anymore) but never my mom's. Because the difference between the given advice of mother's and friend's is that mom yells at me, or she says it with anger or disappointment that I can just feel in my bones or at least she gives me those bad looks that beat me down even more, emotionally. I do not get the courage.(I bladder too much now)

I have been swimming on this 'not being self-confident enough' -thing too long.

Next subject is better.
I am having deco design project in my room! It is still very incomplete because I have to paint the walls first and I haven't went to get my painting supplies yet. And the reason why I do this re-decoration is that my wall are just way ugly colored by the last person who lived in here before me.
The walls are too dark blue for my taste. But I have to admit it that it looked prettier or at least I should say, they looked more acceptable when my parents were here to put my new big mirror on the wall above my table, new as well.

My room looks this atm:

The first pic You see my room as this when you stand at the door
Second pic That is my new mirror and the table that were just bought. They cost about 179€ together, mirror 99€ & table 79€, both from IKEA.

Chair is not new and the trashcan(under the table) is actually very old tin can that I have had since forever, but last year I painted it at my father's car repair shop with car paint colors. x)
Anyways, I'm going to paint those walls soon, I don't know when, as soon as I get my lazy ass off of this apartment to get the paints, and I have been thinking some sort of beige.

but with the beige, I need one lighter color because I'm thinking about painting only one wall with the darker one (I took example colors out of Tikkurila's color palette) but they must not differ too much from each others. The ones I am thinking about. This is really hard and it may take time to choose those colors because I'm such a perfectionist on everything I put myself into!
But this is only tentative..

After I get walls painted I am sticking some butterflies on the wall. That's right, butterflies! I took screencap pic from internet, I saw this awesomeness on Gossip Girl(and I already said I don't watch it but with my bff)

I want my wall look exactly like Serena's bedroom at Blair's home.
I have cutted only 25 paperbutterflies, because my hands hurts; I always tend to squeeze scissors too hard when I focus and try to make perfect trace(see, I'm perfectionist!)

SO, here are the black butterflies I've already cutted and there's one on wall for example.

 






This was quite all for now. Lastly I put a quote here.

“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”

― Marilyn Monroe

Peace out ! ☮Ida